In today’s episode, when unknown assailants attacking a Klingon colony literally go scorched-earth, Kirk can barely handle the heat, but agrees to stay in the kitchen. But in order to resolve the situation peacefully, it may come down to a pants-off dance-off. Does Projeff imply the existence of Amateurjeff? When will the other stroke drop? And how do you say “poop head” in Klingon? All this and more in Treaty’s Law, the book that really puts the phrase “hydrate or die-drate” to the test.