This week, the Supreme Ruler of Jibet flees an uprising, but misses a few million snoozes on his alarm. Eight hundred years later, his missing Uhaul has been found, and now the entire Alpha Quadrant is stopping by to rubberneck—and get in on the storage wars. What qualities get an ensign picked for Defiant duty? What does the officers’ handbook say about swearing? And can Smith and Rusch make alien fetch happen? All this and more in The Long Night, the book that—BAH GAWD! THAT’S JAKE SISKO’S MUSIC!